BONFIRE

I WANT TO GO TO THE BONFIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so bratty but I really want to. haha

Must go. Must go. :p Boo 47

Advice for the day.........

"hang in there".

And because it came from trusted friends, I will heed it for as long as I can.

It's just not because it might be sayang, but I'm hoping it will all be worth it.

I pray though, I'd be heard.

OF HIGHSCHOOL LOVE

You know your high school friends miss you but at the same time hate you for missing get togethers when you experience this conversation with them

Me: Grabe, gusto ko ng one night. Chill lang tayo, as in fun.

Friend: Wow! Kasama pa pala kami sa mga plans mo in the future.

Hahahahahahahahaha. Emo emo emo.

My legs and arms hurt! :( But it's okay. Last night was supposed to be spent reading our 46 report and starting a draft for the 46 exam. For some confidential and friends-only reason, my friends and I ended up talking about things we really don't usually get in depth with. It was, I reckon, my first time to open up on that matter.

Anyway, I had to leave early last night since MSA review started today at 8am! Gggrr. I underwent 4 hours and 35 mins. of diagnostic exam with a rather snobbish handler and very weird proctor. Haha. Exhaustion. Had to treat ourselves (Liz and I) to a sweet lunch at TOSH. Got home around 2pm and tried to compensate for my super super short sleep, woke up at around 5 and watched the ADMU-DLSU game while doing the 46 exam. Haha yey.

I'm still thinking if I should drop by school tomorrow. Hhhhmmm.

STUBBORN STUBBORN STUBBORNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ME.

Nakakainis.

Nakakainis.

Nakakainis.

Ayoko na.

I don't want to tolerate it anymore.

No more na. :(

My best genmeet ever and a very substantial SERMON from my dad.

Sweet.

A very beautiful evening. Don't you just love to share it with me?

(I'd rather you don't).

So much pain :(

I cannot find my Ipod! Not to brag but I usually buy limited edition stuff. Yes, my IPOD IS A FREAKIN' LIMITED EDITION IPOD. And I can't find it. I haven't told my parents and even if I find enough money to buy one and pretend I didn't lose it (bad), I won't be able to find same design again. Unless of course, I find someone who would sell his ipod that's exactly like mine.

And then just this afternoon, in my very effort to find my dearest ipod, I accidentally pushed my Anne Geddes pot to the floor. Now... IT'S BROKEN. I've had it since my elementary years and I doubt they still sell something like it in the market now.

More so, I can't find my Window's Certificate of Authenticity. What does that mean? My laptop's working under a 30-day trial version of Windows. I would have to buy another OS installer. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

AAAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Again, this is not to brag. This is just to show how extremely frustrated I am right now.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Must pray to St. Jude.

Hhhaaayy.

Do I really have to be sick right now? :( This is so depressing. Just when I needed the healthiest me, I find myself down with a clogged nose, barely functioning ears, sore sore sore throat, dry cough and tired eyes. I need to be well. I need to feel normal the moment I wake up tomorrow.

Annivweek's about to end. I should really be excited. Well, I am excited to get things over with because it's really starting to torment me! :(

Hhhaaayyy.

I'll just get some rest.

Down with a flu. :(

Oh no :(

LONG DAY

I'm taking a short break from my unbelievable cramming for tomorrow's exam. My head's already throbbing but I can't stop for long because I have like 3 more chapters to go. Wah. This is all my fault. Oh well.

This day felt like it was really long. I tried to study the moment I got home from road painting yesternight and stopped to rest around 2am. I tried to sleep but I just can't until I realized it was already 4:45 and I had to prepare for the fund run. Got there earlier than everyone else! Haha And then went home in the hope of getting just even a little sleep to give me a bit more energy. Fortunately, I did have sleep but only for like an hour or even less. The off to Araneta for the cheerdance.

Wow. Super wow. Really proud of the UP Pep! They simply never fail to surprise people (HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND CONGRATULATIONS CARLOU!!!!!!). Went home right after UP's performance. Hahahaha. I was dead sleepy already! I slept and woke up at around 8:30, dilly-dallied for a while and felt a rush of nervousness. Hahaha So I grabbed my readings and started doing what I should've been doing for the past days!

Procrastination is the biggest sin ever. Haha

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Wala lang, this is just so weird and it took me quite a while to figure out why.. ewan.

I'm a certified hematophobic. My family could attest to that. I nearly faint at the sight of blood or any kind of wound, for that matter. It doesn't matter how small or big the wound is. If there's blood... you'll probably notice my whole face starting to look bland with my lips slowly turning to white and I don't know. I just can't bear the sight of anything painful. I even remember rushing myself to the clinic back in highschool just because I got pricked by a needle. Someone always has to cover my wounds for me because I will certainly freak out seeing blood flowing.

And what's weird? When I saw him bleeding this morning, there was much of worry than fear. For the first time, I was not scared to look at it. Heck, I was even touching it but I wasn't scared. I didn't want to see the blood not because I was scared but because I know it's giving him pain. Weird. Very weird, indeed.

Or maybe it's a sign. Maybe I already overcame my fear! Haha

Basta. Amazing.

(This is such a big contradiction to my positivity post. I just felt the need to let this out)

Dear God,

Thank you for tonight. I really had a great time with my friends and I hope I'd be given more time to do that. But again, thank you. That little time sufficed to treat me of a tedious day.

I've been pretty busy the past few days. I've been lacking sleep and the want to do stuff I know I should do. I'm starting to fidget about those stuff I am currently busy with. I'm starting to be unstable with my moods. I tend to get annoyed easily. I actually get frustrated easily. I vent my frustrations to people who, I think, deserve it. I end up getting grumpy and finding reasons in them and put the blame on them for my unwanted mood.

Good Lord, help me stop myself from being too fragile. Help me to not submit myself entirely to the situation. Help me find inspiration in every single person I encounter whether they are against me or not. Help me pull things through with a sincere smile on my face.

I don't want to be grumpy anymore. I don't want to project my feelings to other people anymore. Please enlighten me during those times when I find myself on the verge of grumpyness. Whenever I am about to seethe, please send an angel to my touch my lips and make a smile out of it.

Thank you Lord.

I love you.

Amen.

Careful

Yes, be careful. Be very very very careful.

Hhhhhhhmmmm.

Feeling lucky? :)

I thought today was my lucky day. I can swear I really felt lucky and I, with all my incorrigible positivity, thought nothing will go wrong or put me down today. I don't feel this way all the time. But the moment I stepped out of the house, I felt all flushed with a stroke of extreme luck. Haha. I really really really felt super duper, extra, unimaginably, undeniably, perfectly, grabe lucky.

Apparently (to me I guess), today wasn't what I thought it would be. But boo, I don't care.

I've got tomorrow to feel lucky again. :) Well, I hope. I'm positive :)

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You see, I'm trying to change how I look at things. Rather than being sad or paying attention to things that don't deserve a shit, I'll just spend time finding many many other reasons to smile and yey for me! It's been very very effective. :) Positivity! Positivity! Positivity is the thing to be! :)

Nonetheless, I'm still wondering if it's positivity that's really fueling me right now or if I'm just trying to let myself grow lethargically apathetic about things that, in the real world, really do bring me down.

Apathy. Wow. Hhhmm. Being nonchalant sparingly helps a lot. I think it's healthy sometimes. Should I? :)

tired

Today was a rather draining day. I slept at around 1:30 am and woke up at 5:30am since I have to get to where I had to go before 7am. Sometimes, I do hate color coding. I got to school at 6:30, slept at the car for a while since I my mom thinks it isn't safe to sleep in the tambayan alone that early in the morning. And then saw Ber enter the building so I decided to go to the tambayan and try to get some sleep there.

But of course, it's Ber. He kept on talking to me and as usual, he was fidgeting about his 146 exam. Hence, making "his" sounds. Hahahahaha Then I told him I'd just go to the Shopping Center. Once I got there, I surfed the internet and printed the letters I needed for the radio plug. And then I saw Nikko so he accompanied me in doing my errands. Then we went back to Stat just in time for the Formal Interview which I manned until around 12:30

Then..

Off to Paragon Plaza for the plugging. I went to Magic with Tonico and Tricia. For some weird reasons, we were all drained and didn't even notice we didn't press the elevator's button. So we landed a floor higher than where we should've been. We went around for a quite a while looking for the stairs and we just couldn't find it so we decided to again, wait for the elevator.

After a while, we found ourselves inside Magic's studio. Plug.. plug.. plug. It was around 2:30 at that time and we hadn't eaten anything. We decided to WALK under the excruciating heat from Paragon to Robinson's Pioneer. We didn't care how far it was any more. We just have to have something to munch on!

Then back to Stat where I spent time walking around, dropping by interviews and trying hard to keep up despite the uncontrollable slumber trying to overpower me.

Hhaayy.

11:30. I'll sleep. I should be studying but for now, i'll rest.