My dad always has an urban legend to tell about his childhood. He keeps on making up stories that to earn money when he was still a kid, he would sell ice-drops, corn cobs etc etc barefoot under the scorching sun. As a child, I was so amazed that he actually did those things and managed to earn his allowance from it without asking from his parents. I asked my grandmother about it and eventually I learned everything was a hoax. I tell him to stop creating his tales because I feel like it's offending my grandmother. :)) But of course, he has a lot in store for us.

Last night, on our way home from Makati, we passed by streetchildren sleeping on the gutter. I didn't know he was also looking at them when he suddenly spoke..

Dad: Mahirap ung ganyan, matulog sa kalye.
Me: mm-hmm. Kawawa naman sila
Dad: Oo, malamig ung kalye.. etc etc etc
Me: *weirded out* Pano mo naman nalaman?!
Dad: Na-experience ko na matulog sa kalye (super paawa voice)
Me: Ha?!! Bakit ka naman natulog sa kalye?

Dad: Wala, gusto ko lang subukan.

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My dad, bow.

I believe my dad is an intelligent man. But at this point, his skepticism has gotten out of hand. :))

Whatever is going on inside my dad's mind and no matter how many urban legends he has, I love him to bits!

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY PAPA! <3

I never really relied much on Facebook stuff, quizzes and whatnots. I just answer them for the heck of it and because they're so much fun but I never tried believing any of the results. But lately, I've been hooked on "See What God Wants You to Know Today". They don't have unique results. Nikko has received exactly the same message as I did before, only on a different day. But as Han said, it's not the message but the time I got the message.

Today, this is what I got:

Fay got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...
... that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed.

That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.

During the Sunday mass, I kept on asking God if what I'm doing right now is proper, if it's going to help me find what I really want and if it's going to lead me to the success I am meant to have. I think I just got an answer. :)

The Failure I've been Wanting to Escape

It's been 3 months since I got the news and until now I still cringe remembering that night when I cried like hell, that night when Ox, Love and Nikko stayed beside me until I was able to let my crying subside just for even a while. It was something I think I will never forget. I must say I have never felt so depressed in my entire life because I thought I could never fail in anything at all. My mind was so cramped up with that incorrigible notion that it tore me to pieces when I found out I failed.

Fast forward to now, I don't think I have entirely recovered from the pain. It is just too much to take and the terrible wrathed-feeling hasn't left me. The loneliness still creeps in and I still get sad despite my smiles and laughs. I am very much happy, yes, but that part of my life has left such indelible mark. It feels like they have nailed it on me and it causes pain from time to time. I've never been over it. It's just that I'm better at controlling my emotions now. I see it now as a joke especially from people I am very very very much close to. I owe such resilience I have to my friends, family and buddy. I don't think I'd find enough strength to wake up to a new day and actually face this horrendous chapter had it not for them.

Now is another phase. At this very moment I am typing, I feel a bit weak. I sort of think of what could've been but I'm trying to block all negative thoughts. I keep on telling myself that there's nothing to be sad about. I should start counting my blessings and not my troubles.

I know how what happened made a few people happy (duh! galing mismo sa kanila haha). At first it pained me to know they did find such satisfaction from that failure but after 3 months, I really no longer give a damn about them. I'll live my life, they'll live theirs and I guess they should give me credit for making them happy for some time.

And yes, I have fallen. I have fallen more in love with the people who keep on trying their best to make forget. :)

This next phase is for them. :) and well maybe, for the other THEM as well. :)