9 mornings and my life.

I am definitely done with Simbang Gabi! Woohoo! 7 night and 2 dawn masses! :) It feels extremely good despite my friends telling me that only half of my wish will come true because I attend anticipated masses. Toink. Hehe. I believe in God. He'd give it to me if it's time for me to have it. :)

Speaking of Simbang Gabi, I've been intrigued by Nine Mornings. It's a local film starring Donita Rose and Piolo Pascual (well, I suppose). Nikko has watched it n times and he's been talking about since last year's simbang gabi. Actually, the thought of Simbang Gabi excites him because he knows Cinema One will be streaming Nine Mornings. So what do I do? Search for Nine Mornings Torrent!!! Haha :) And I can't freakin' find one!!! :( I'm so bored and it's the only thing I want to watch tonight. But okay, I'll just watch Love Actually for the nth time and fall in love again and again and again. :)

But first, I'll try to reflect on tonight's homily. Haha. I love it when priests end their homilies with rhetoric questions because, as rhetoric as they may sound, they make you feel like there's an answer. It's just that you have to dig in deep and think think think or even feel feel feel. Tonight's question was not rhetoric though. It has an answer but it's just quite hard to fathom what suits it.

HOW IS YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW?

Diba? How in the world will you answer this? Okay, I'll give it a shot. :)

First, academically. I can say that back in highschool I was one of the top. Creme of the crop as how they would put it. I made it to the best university and for some unfortunate reason, found the mediocre in me. Yes, it's hell to experience how it is being on top at all times and now find yourself, well, doing just fine. It was frustrating at first but I learned to live with it. It's not like I resolved to no longer aim for the gold. I just learned not to dwell on it and to trust myself that I am at my best in everything I do in school. If I fall short, I just to have to stand up again and move and go on.

Org stuff.
After council, I somehow felt the need for me to rest. Council was too much stress and I know that running for office is, again, putting myself in dire pressure. And so... I WAS RIGHT. A lot transpired since the very day I sent all those election stuff to the then outgoing Board of Directors. At many times it was hell. At times it was heaven. But at all times it was triumphant. I realized that a major and most influential part of having to work and be of service is to be thrown into a pit of hungry lions. You subject yourself to many threats and stuff that could probably harm you and what makes you a good officer is that you try to turn those lions into lambs. You don't tame them but at least put yourselves in their shoes. It's gruelling. It's not as easy as it is said. But the trying makes you a better person and the success you make out of it makes you an excellent friend to them.

Well, right now, despite and inspite of things had happened, I hope that I and the rest of the BOD was able to exemplify to the whole of Statsoc our intentions. I'm hoping also that aspirants won't be scared. It's going to be hard but what's easy in life, anyway? The more you open yourself to opportunities, the more learned person you become.

High School friends.
I'm glad I somehow have to time to catch up. I wish I have more, though. But I'm very much happy that even after four years, the connection never faltered. I still can be myself when I'm with them and they've been constructive critiques whenever they notice a change in me.

College Friends.
I guess my "barkada" life is an open book. It has been so controversial and has caused many instances to happen. I do apologize to everyone who in some way got involved in everything. It wasn't intentional of course. I'm sorry we lost control of what is/was happening. Okay, truth is.. I am not so cold as to saying we are all better off this way. Let's lay the cards and admit that a even a tiny part of our heart asks a lot of what ifs including, what if we're still all together right now? I'd like to believe that that tiny part exists in everyone of us. 'Cause if not, then we must be dead cold numb.

It's not a silly away-bati thing anymore. There's too much to compromise and to patch up. Even as mature persons, we still can't find the way how we can end this somewhat barren connection. I can't even think of the right words to suit it. All I can say that what's happening is really a waste. What could've been a flourishing friendship has come to .... I don't know.

But for now, I'm just going to look at it as a time off. It's frustrating but I know it's impossible to start anew and just put on a clean slate because what happened is not that shallow. Even if people come up and suggest.. talk, compromise. It's not that. I don't know what we need yet. But we'll figure it out soon, I know. And by that time things would be much different. I guess we just can't find the perfect environment to reconcile what needs to be reconciled.

I don't know how long it will take, a year.. 2 years.. 10 years.. 30 years. Basta, everything will workout in the end. If it doesn't then it's not yet the end.

Stat Friends.
Haha! Grabe! If benta is the word then it must mean Stat people. :) I'm glad I found a lot of friends, well, other than my barkada. I do find myself in another dimension when I'm with them. It's a great great feeling to walk out of the classroom and greet many many people. And it's not because you know each other's name or existence but because you really do know them.

Family.
Tss. I have a great family. Waters may be troubled at time but all is well. I couldn't ask for more but to have mama, papa, ate, boying and bicoy always there.

Buddy.
Yehess. Haha I do choose that this aspect of my life remain private. But as it is, it's hard 'cause we've got Ox and Vlad as friends and the whole organization to witness everything. I guess at this point, we have never been this happier and closer. We've had many many many arguments this year and most of the time it because of our different perception concerning work. Aarrggh. It felt so bad during that times but fortunately, we've grown now and learned to be more open about things

I kept telling him that it's hard to take care of a president. Haha The members were like his anak so I end up also tending his children. I remember one time when we were to go out on an Awitan practice night. The night before it, he was worrying who will go to Area 2 and fill the water containers and bring it to Vinzon's. He was worrying who will do the groceries for their food. He was worrying who still stay with them during the practice. Etc. etc. I would've been annoyed but I actually found it amusing how he manages to be like that. I see that side of him most people don't and I swear it amazes me.

He's my buddy, bestfriend, kuya, dad, stress ball, annoy-Er, PA (haha) and everything else. He refuses to be called my bestfriend but he is! Haha Life is much much more bearable and a lot more enjoyable because I have him around. :)

The three months left we have in school scares me though. Hhhhmm.. but I just have to let be :) He makes me happy and I'm hoping I do the same thing to him :)

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SO YEAH.. I guess my life is pretty much of a taste of sugar and spice. I do have healthy troubles and incomparable amount of happiness :)

This is my life and I love it.

THANK YOU LORD. :)

hahaha